I am not a ________.

Hi. This is Robert. I need for you to know that I am not a __________. I hope you aren’t too disappointed. I can see how you might have misread the situation. After all, we look kind of the same, you and I. We wear the same kinds of clothes. We binge watch the same shows on Netflix. We laugh at the same jokes. We chit chat about our families and our jobs and our vacation plans for next October.

We work together or we are neighbors or we went to the same school or we are complete strangers standing together in a grocery store line that is not moving. We look each other in the eye when speaking. We are polite. We seem to appreciate one another.

I guess I can see how you might feel mislead. I mean, I don’t smoke or drink to excess. I try not to swear in public. I am clean and well-groomed with no visible piercings. My hair runs a bit wild but it isn’t outlandish in style or color. I’ve never been arrested or been in a fight or even a strong argument.

I’m not telling you this to make you uncomfortable. I don’t want to punish you for misunderstanding who I am. I just need you to know that I am not a __________. I hope this doesn’t ruin your day. I hope we can still be friends.

I want to understand and respect you. I hope you will want to understand and respect me too.

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