A Sense of It

Depression is another planet. A planet that looks mostly like your own with the same basic physics and sometimes the same weather. The people here look like people you know, except they are all very far away and getting farther. Maybe you no longer speak the same language and no matter how very hard you try, you cannot communicate with each other. And maybe there is always something important that needs doing but you can’t remember what that something is or why it so urgently needs doing. Priorities are hell. Everything is equally weighted. Its all urgent or utterly inconsequential. You cannot know which. Everything is effort. You move from day to day, hopping across small islands of sleep. There are mercies. You don’t dream. You lie down and extinguish. You drift in the place of the not yet born and the no longer living. Eventually, you wake and your mind does the complicated math. How long until I can be here again? Hours and hours and hours. Days and weeks and months. Sometimes, they add up to years. The fear inside this yawning abyss. A place for lost things. The place you happen to find yourself waiting still.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “A Sense of It

    1. Hi, Amanda. This was written from a bit of my own experience with a heavy mix of observation from all the other people in my life. It seems none of us are alone in feeling ourselves alone. I’m glad to hear from you. Really appreciate the share.

      Like

  1. Reblogged this on writermummy and commented:
    I’m aware I have been silent for a long time on the blog. Lots of reason, some good, some not so good. So I thought I’d share this poignant description of living with depression. Particularly difficult at this time of year. To anyone who recognises at least part of this, know you are not alone. ❤️

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s